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Scattered Resistance v1 - Childhood Waning

by Wetdryvac's Lair

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1.
Once Again 00:39
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Once Again 1990 take a look around my friend for all of this will never be again the green is gone the fire's nigh the blacken'd clouds now choke the sky we've had our chance it's thrown away no time you see for our dismay the chance we had we took too long another look and in the smoke, it's gone and though it's night up in the sky there's light too late... my friend the fire's nigh hot winter's night this time... we die
2.
Implications 00:30
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Implications 1990 if I imply to you that I am not the way I seem will you accept that I have tried to follow what I've seen? or will you try to prove that I should not attempt to dream? I now imply to you that I am not the way I seem I hope that I have not misjudged based upon that seen
3.
The Mushroom 00:52
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The Mushroom 1990 look back upon the past my friend for things were better then the sky was blue, not grey you see and it never had to end but man he found a mushroom and thought he'd take a bite the sky blazed vicious orange no less to seem the light yet man he used this mushroom no matter it destroyed it did the things he bid it and ate away within 'til man he found an enemy and though it was just him he thought to use the mushroom - and it the war did win now man he claims a sickness says dark clouds cover all the mushroom I suppose slew verna after all
4.
Welcome 00:22
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Welcome 1990 welcome the sign says and this is all but the paint sprays so much more the world you've created with so many things gone wrong you may not really like it but it's yours forever sure
5.
Shadow Play 00:29
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Shadow Play 1990 if you see me than either I exist or your sanity has frayed so said the shadow I looked like shadow it was gone had then I seen it? might the proof be of no more than air? which one was the shadow? I thought a moment, like the shadow like the shadow gone
6.
The Light 00:40
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The Light 1990 I realize now, though it's too late that we have gone too far we have destroyed ourselves with our carelessness taken our world with us look, out over the darken'd plains see the cold hard mountains' tops see the scars what we have left the troubles we have caused remember? they said we were playing with fire well, we got our fire - and with it gave them death yet now we realize it is our end too and the fire we released will have us all
7.
A Feather From My Mind 01:20
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A Feather from my Mind 1987 a mind peers out from steel grey eyes hidden in the shadows behind these eyes a mind is thinking past thoughts coming slowly t'was once a time when thought came easy but that, now past, is gone the body, like the mind, is wasted arms once strong now limply lie the mind now ponders such as it happened in remembrance of long ago still then thinking, thinking slowly it must be done! the time is now and from the darkness a spark of silver a sudden thrust, a concealed sound and at a later time remember how they came - the ones in grey now the mind lies here forgotten a pale hand pounds padded wall within the mind a new thread's breaking duality's hold with a pain, is flown 'til again in the room there springs a movement again the coming of the grey in the morning, slate cold, I read the paper father dear, rest easy - the killer is no more
8.
When I was Five 00:15
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When I was Five 1979 I had a little kitten she really was quite meek she'd say unto the little mice let's play hide and seek
9.
Memories of Cat 00:37
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Memories of Cat 1987 sitting on a log by a pond in the rushes his sharp eyes spot a frog he stalks he rushes he is in the air - but the frog is gone to where? he lands in the water with a shriek of rage later, yowls, plaintive outside our door to be let in, clean and dry later in the evening, as I head up late for bed he tells me of the rushes' trickery and nestles by my head
10.
The Watcher 00:43
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The Watcher 1989 again today I saw the watcher from far above looking down I could tell I was seen, yet hardly noticed and felt in some way scorned after all, a watcher can see everything from eyes a hundred times our meager gift I often wonder about this watcher free to move while we must crawl only once it was that I saw a watcher touch earth and at the kill I was not surprised even the watcher must rest at times feed his old wings for tomorrow's dawn
11.
What Have We Done? 00:30
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What Have We Done? 1989 wings a velvet shade of night help us in our fateful hour seek to end our only light as a deadly orange flower rise from ground to end all life why we'll never understand sudden death from a hidden knife the destroyers of our only land
12.
Martinet 00:33
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Martinet 1989 look in the mirror is that you is it what they tell you to do do you see the strings connected with your hands? and don't you hope they'll go away now the strings are calling jump, jump, do our bidding time is short do you follow orders or fight them with your life trying to cut these strings from you make your hands your own
13.
Pyre 00:25
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Pyre 1990 a brain, you see, is a curious thing and mine you see, has this little thing I go quite mad and things rise up to float about my head I see the sparks and then the light of fires in the hall my mind's a maze and now alight to all
14.
Conclusion 00:31
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Conclusion 1990 I am you and in the end that matters as my end is yours fear pestilence even death all these are shared once done beyond undoing the dead are truly the lucky between us the living must linger on so cold it will be
15.
Quest 00:30
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Quest 1990 at my time I see a star I see a war within my mind I see a ring of truth within a lie and I wonder will it hold me or will I fly can I see the answers through real and not can I break the lie and if I see the answers will I die
16.
Timing 02:11
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Timing 1990 -A Beginning- a little sphere upon your wall is slowly turning green you throw your thoughts and words its way yet still it remains you turn away and hear it crying "I am your future, your past! let me in?" "no," you scream, and prostrate yourself on the floor "I own my past and keep my dreams unto me- my future is in myself, not in you." "but don't you see?" it asks quietly "I am your soul let me in?" sobbing softly you give in... -End of Youth- you wake in the evening and search for ideals but with the sphere, they are gone you walk to the mirror in the mirror is a baby "I am your past, what you once were." "don't leave," you plead yet the image changes in the mirror is an old man "I am your future all your thoughts and actions come together as one." "wait!" still pleading, "I am not ready..." yet the mirror changes and you grow old "I was not prepared to be the future." but the sphere has cherished you without a care -Into Dream- the mirror is blank now, unfilled you hold out your hand and are dragged in you feel an old man dying and know the future waits you search your mind and find only a sorrow this, this is your sphere "This cannot be what you wanted but I cannot help the answer lay within you all along take control and end the dream." "My mind is weak," you cry "the past is immutable and the future never lets go-" "think," it says, "go, and break the mirror" and with the scattering glass you fall
17.
Differences 01:11
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Differences 1990 it is a property of many minds to be afraid of what they do not know also to be afraid to open their eyes for fear they may see I was once like this afraid of the new, the different but laughing, I claim I am older now and I see the different, different only not bad I would like to think that all could share these views for they are not just mine but those of many people that simply because of the way be live or what we believe there is no need to scorn others or do them wrong or for them to scorn us to follow this path is hard or so it seems to me for there are those I shall never understand I would like to say that I've succeeded yet though I try I don't always succeed there will always be differences can we not accept other's ideas? for without them and our own we seem less than nothing or flesh
18.
Scarz 00:16
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Scarz 1990 once I was sure I was right that I might banish the night yet in the hour of greatest power it's only myself that I fight
19.
Requiem to Freedom 02:51
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Requiem to Freedom 1990 I - hidden thoughts once again all you remember is obscured by darkness what has become of your past? a darkness you can touch... feel. yet still confusion reins tangible... to pull you up? what have you done... and why? II - within a trial, for you, against yourself, contained within your mind with you as your own prosecution forced to see what you have become abandoned is the dreamer... and hope. a raper and destroyer of the mind such is your past scream - end the agony silence then... raper! only that and the pain hold true III - ending leave us our children they know not what they do yet you took them to you with them went the capability for joy - for life with them went hope all thoughts of the future gone with them clear thought IV - repentance "this is not what I wanted" so you cry out to the flames cold response "it is your legacy" "no, I would never have done such a thing" yet the doing is circled in your power all others were crushed you took away their souls "this cannot be," you dream still, the flames close in it has been done. V - vision a body comes in sight as you move through your sorrow one of the many children in your war yet the dead speak "I believed in you all you said was right for yours I gave my all yet the cost my belief my love now here I lie dead, as you VI - Conclusion guilt is your only companion now free to roam within your thoughts to slowly drive you mad your country and its children lie in waste they hate you now you know even as a ghost you cannot withstand your broken honor another Stalin from the pack another leader come and released to graze inevitably these thoughts are snapped by shame and, once again- all you remember is obscured by darkness
20.
Reflected Fears 00:48
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Reflected Fears 1990 get your head out of my mind | yet screaming in the darkness I do not want it there | would leave only fear for my thoughts are my own | to rip away my blanket and my privacy | and destroy my shield all that is left to me | would crush my beliefs beyond recognition do not change what I believe in | all that is left to me it's my shield from the world | with privacy destroyed to rip away my blanket | are a few last thoughts of my own would leave only fear | why only show me the way to hide and me screaming in the darkness | how could I do this to me
21.
Belief 00:44
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Belief 1990 tell me, do you believe in freedom? Foley said, "There is agony and glory with freedom." as if there were no division, that we must retain agony perhaps we find it within ourselves to fight agony but in the cause of freedom to accept it and endure we may never have the chance to stand down tanks, or collapse a wall but we must fight if we have to the view lies incomplete somehow valid, but unsure and I'd hoped I'd never get the chance to fight though the stricture binds me still
22.
The Story of Whatever it was in the Chicken Barn 00:38
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The Story of Whatever it was in the Chicken Barn 1990 strange creatures as we chickens are we have fear of all that moves we cannot tell what really is or what could do us harm how cruel we find you humans you hide and then you shout then watch the tidal wave of fear til eight deep by the wall we crouch you let a scream and watch us all lay eggs from where we stand suspended on a moment's fear as all your kind now stand
23.
Night 00:36
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Night September 23, 1990 if I should die before I wake I hope that I might dream of all the good I've ever done of all that I have seen and of the wrongs I have committed and how to make them right finally I hope to find someone I can tell all the things I ever felt and all the rest as well and if I die before I wake I hope my dream is shared experiences of the soul are better naked bared
24.
Seeds 00:58
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Seeds September 25, 1990 over the hill so they say too much time gone by the past has come to greet you come to stay yet I see the sunlight shining on you- love you have, to hide the grey- dignity to use your wrinkles- I know that you have found your way I'll be there time passing fighting my own battle my heart you see has not yet started yet it may I have yet to face the darkness as I see it now today I know my views are facing changes your victory will light my way and to grow old will be no weakness time will help me find the light as you've shown me through the years now I'll show others how to fight
25.
Falling 00:36
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Falling 1990 I look out upon the water daylight slipping slowly by sunset resting on my shoulder am I really dying in the lake I see reflected sun shining behind the hills loons are calling for the night now whispering the answers breathing softly one more moment death comes walking slowly by I am ready, night falls slow now watch my world fade from me
26.
Tempest 00:21
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Tempest 1990 waiting slipping slowly falling headfirst into a place of pain knowing questions lie within you but answers yet are hard to find
27.
Prophecy 00:42
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Prophecy 1990 fifteen candles falling down flicker out one by one one for that you have accomplished the rest for things undone final candle falling down all the flames wiped out but one fourteen counts of that against you this you have become shades of darkness creeping down creature of the night, your years all the things they tried to tell you shriveled and died, exhaled, done
28.
Reprieve 01:29
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Reprieve 1990 I meant for all things to be right never betrayal or lack of trust yet I find in myself a certain sorrow a wish for endings come- I never tried to think such were the troubles I could not face I could not give you time to heal so I tore the bond I held the answer I told myself but could not set it free the pain is bound within our being tormenting our thoughts our souls pushing us both on and back to face the pain I had no courage could not bare for hurt to recover we all must eat pain embrace what is accept the not with fantasy as base of truth all as one we balance I am alone now within my world fragmented torn between is and not unable to accept your differences my fears I tore the bond acceptance was the key to share truth and learn I hoped to save myself in you for fear but the hurt was instead my answer
29.
Infinity 00:59
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Infinity 1990 time so small entropy the destroyer combined turn young to old old to dust and in the end to naught always to loose to time too late for answers come and gone to come again and still to fade before the eyes the failing of understanding of those who came before now dust too late to hope for answers hidden within silent dust too late to see what's been destroyed too late we see the answers like frail light forever gone yet behind my veil I hope...
30.
The Prophet 01:00
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The Prophet September 1990 a dark shape lies within your future lies obscured by neon light a vision of madness and a prayer are your last handles on reality the resolution on your life is growing dim beyond reason for behind stalks fear that when you find you ten thousand years will have fell behind you leaving no wake that the city will turn against you that the noise of the cares lies entirely in your head and that the truth, when left behind will eat you alive turn off the light and draw the shades to hold in the dark and plug your ears to hold in the silence for your fears are just a memory and the darkness in your future no more than sleep
31.
Afterwords 01:01
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Afterwards September 20, 1990 I pray that when we die we may continue on intangible as dreams that I may see you though as a dream when I am faded fills me with joy and fear that I may see you without me go on I pray I will never see I had no effect upon your life or that when in need you will only be watched by my shade I also know that if this be true there may be those watching me attempting enough form for tears and watching all our pasts the dead of wars our tragedies past's come to life in death but to watch us fail their dreams so in a way I hope that when I die I will simply fade
32.
Darkness 00:56
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Darkness October 2, 1990 what has become of the night in this valley? the skies are alight with reflections from clouds the people are coming, ending the darkness light up the skies with the vapors of death "show us our prophet," cry the screaming millions whirling, falling in the light scream for answers scream for the dying run, my people, it's the end of night ancestors are crying, twisting, burning falling in pieces upon the ground all of their prayers remaining unanswered to late they find in their blood they've drowned to late I find the way to night lies wasted, obscured- behind the sound
33.
Fracture 00:40
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Fracture October 2, 1990 fear an companion pain an emotion the rest of the world come undone lying in shambles at your feet pick up the pieces shake out the tatters hide away those bits you can't stand in a hole you dig in the ground run from the nightmare trailing curtains of the fear that some years hence the world will find you dry in a tomb waiting for transition that won't come
34.
Of War 00:30
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Of War October 3, 1990 I know that try as I might the truth will always hide away in the darkness and lie will pass as truth for those who speak of the glory of war still I can see they eyes of the dead telling me that to fight is not to go on and glory to the dead is death
35.
Visions 00:57
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Visions October 11, 1990 the land receding towards the water reflections of my life are here things I'd hoped to leave untarnished moulder and fade leaving ripples as the only notion of their passing to tell the truth we've rarely noticed that colors have no meaning and matter only to those who are afraid of the dark that to give meaning to our sight we must define what we see beyond seeing not cut up life to see what lies within for ripples of such cuttings torment us forever as is the land by the sea and to cut too deeply will cause that sea of fear of flames to engulf us and eventually erode our existence as whole
36.
The Machine 01:13
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The Machine October 9, 1990 in classrooms dreary teachings fail upon unopened minds of those who would not learn those to be left behind to face a world that has no use for those who never know aught but simply world flat who watch the sun til blind to repeat all our past's mistakes compound by lack of care and trust to fall into the hands of those who play with our world til it's dust upon the horizon we see the glow and watch the specter rise the deathly yellow orange glow that burns into our eyes specter of a thousand turns that churns oh churns, our skin it turns upon our backs to dirt before our eyes blind we came so shalt we leave ourselves our own undoing a shattered mask a shattered past without the knowledge to stop the blast that comes at last to kill
37.
Futility 00:37
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Futility 1990 the destroyer's gun is on you run the hell of life about to end the hammer falls close darkness pall the pain enough like bullet to split your head all the people fall around you all the others now so much matter oppressors minds will never bend another falls the next steps in rhetoric and agony a flash and it begins again
38.
Serenade from Beyond 04:25
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Serenade From Beyond October 19, 1990 I - Inside lying in bed beside your gun you dream of the real world viewed from behind corruption from the real world of your dream come the sounds of war come the fallings of bombs come the cries of the dying all of this you must ignore lest it split your shield cause your pain pain of the dead sorrow for the children who will never be II - Break upon waking you roll from your bed entangled in your covers and reaching for your gun shattering the silence by crying out against some fragmental memory cocking hammer and snapping trigger shattering yourself in your last mirror reflection of someone you thought you knew whimpering you try to hide from the noise wrapping yourself in the covers and the smell of smoke hiding from the real world, in the shadows of dream and the stench upon a final battlefield your reflection claimed it would be shaking you rise from the floor gathering once more your blankets about you lie, gun reloaded against your head praying you will not return to nightmare unable to sleep, you hide in transition dreams of sleep mingling with dreams of reality and fall into a middle state III - Bottom day by day you sleep a thousand deaths in the darkness of your mind your gun a last comfort that perhaps these dreams will be mortal when they break through unable to acknowledge that in times long gone by they have lying in fear of your real world knowing that the smallest crack in your defenses will cause that world to realize that you exist brush you aside, uncaring for just another deluded dove without a thought that your dreams, vapors indeed, are true without a thought the real world will go on with its terrors and the only way to survive these times so you mantra to yourself do not become involved by never moving perhaps you may yet escape IV - Excisement a year the dreams have come to encompass your entire being the fear that despite all your effort you will be drawn into a war that has yet to start end up with your twisted body adding to the stench of those who were with you when lightning struck waking one last time you look out at the world on your tv screen still assembling your defenses- you see colors of the pictures of the wasted and know in your deepest heart finally one of them will soon be you fleeing the nightmare of the real world has left you empty of all but fear knowledge that if you don't wander soon someone will come to collect you you check the safety of your gun and in the contemplation of thunder realize that your greatest fear has come to pass defenses a bit too wide - shutting in the enemy V - Outside floating like acid through the fog you notice that in the rain on the street below lies a dying man you could have given of yourself too late you realize that closing the terror irrevocably was not the conclusion just a prefix to a serenade of a world in pain torn apart by hatred and limit finally you understand that to dive in with whole heart -help- was the only cured way to end that those who annihilate themselves add only to their own pain
39.
Flashover 00:35
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Flash Over October 1990 oh ye foolish people what dare to tread upon this hallow'd ground bow in fear for the destroyer rises to tear flesh from bodies for in its power the world will shudder and bring about the mountain's fall for in a single flash of light will rise a sickness to hold all man bow ye down o mortal fools for I am death
40.
Morning 00:21
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Morning November 28. 1990 one last prayer to the god of the weary one last hope to repay it all one last plea from a repentant sinner a final breath and the noose ends all
41.
Mourning 00:52
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Mourning November 30, 1990 in a dream you rise to join the dance of those who rose before to flit among the clouds for a while after the latest war and after a while, while you dance you think you realize that war will never truly die so long as those who are filled with war remain alive yet shall we end the ones who hate so as to prevent war? and if we try and do succeed have we by stance decried? awake in bed awash in tears there are no answers here a war within to end a war it's all a war in here
42.
Inside 00:28
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Inside December 5, 1990 when in yourself you find a place that seems to match your thoughts remember it and take leave there when peace is hard to find so take your turn in the cold hard world but when turmoil rules within take a break from the troubled path to think with a quiet mind
43.
Breakdown 00:31
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Breakdown December 1, 1990 in a darkened bed I sit no light, no sound no way to sleep more weary than I've ever been false hope that darkness soon will end for the fears I'm holding of the night are in my mind to stay tonight perhaps it may yet help to know if the world lights with fallout glow I will not be the first to go unto the house of death
44.
Beside Myself 01:06
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Beside Myself December 5, 1990 next to me I hear the playing with of staples by a certain friend of mind and I hope - oh I hope that cries of pain will not result to desensitize my inner ear a stapler is a simple beast but wielded can inflict shame and I hope - oh I hope that this I will never see I... oh damn, it's started once again my friend he plays with staples he seems to have gotten himself pinned his fingers to the table could be he's cracked oh... no broken free it's after me wait - he's only stabbed my notebook I suspect he'll run out soon please - give up on this concept it's socially unsound nope... bastard's successfully stapled me to my chair can't get up - I'll just swear a bit hope for a new habit
45.
En Ingles 00:54
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En Ingles December 5, 1990 I'm sitting in the doldrums ignoring the words at the front of the room I've heard it all already these words were spoken yesterday verbatim - so here I sit occasionally glancing out the window and watching the floor for signs of life so far nothing but the moving of my feet and a wisp of dust, blown in from the hall finally, a word! fire! oh what a blast we've gotten to the part at last that I can comprehend oh dear, I thought... it's not. it's a passionate bug-eyed monologue about the flames of love so back I sink, down and down to shut out what's above
46.
Crossing 00:36
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Crossing December 1990 slam - down from the sky the screams of the storm the deafening sounds of hate in this world slam - down from the sky comes the anger of eternity encompassing the fools of the world that would make war then... slam - man's response of denial and death and reasons never understood the final reason is self justifying slam - man's final answer and destruction is nuclear
47.
Dream Stained Eyes 00:45
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Dream Stained Eyes January 4, 1991 tell me when you're dreaming do you cry out for companionship scream out with your mind for help do ya ever wonder if you're ever really there? do ya run round through the darkness in the fear that this might be your soul? do you fade in the sunshine to be with the shadows when you find that you've suddenly tilted to fall - is it a problem that you have no more feeling that your body is burning without you that your nightmares are coming to call can ya stand up?

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Folio 1 of Scattered Resistance

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released September 11, 2012

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Wetdryvac's Lair image

Wetdryvac's Lair Weld, Maine

Wetdryvac is a consulting device, a musician, and a free will procedural ethicist. This makes for some seriously odd material from time to time, much of which is worked with here as Wetdryvac's Lair.

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