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lyrics

To –
February 7, 1992

day after day
I swear I’m OK
but I think this might be a lie
I don’t know how I am
and it’s getting no better
I still don’t know where I’m going
I had it all planned
held my life in my hand
but the jarring has spun it all loose
don’t think I can take it
make or remake it
what trail is the trial on?

I thought I could feel
how I’d not been felt better
I though I could heal
know myself just a little bit more
but now I am crashing
event horizon
plunging in closer
as deeper down the well I go
and what can I tell you
that yes I still love you
that nothing really touches me here

it all comes out today
I never knew what to say
I seem to be slipping away
and though I am climbing
trying to regain
my mental ground is frictionless
my slope defined by your release
never shared, ability compromised

is it worth starting over
is friends nothing more than what we had
all from the start
so I tell you most truly that though this is hard for me
starting again is compulsive
for nothing comes from hollow –
I tell you it was good
something must have held me
selfish in the should
and here’s the crash

state of confusion in a state of joy
risk of the willing, starting condition
beginning again, called share

credits

from Scattered Resistance v5 - Inluminal, released October 20, 2012

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Wetdryvac's Lair Weld, Maine

Wetdryvac is a consulting device, a musician, and a free will procedural ethicist. This makes for some seriously odd material from time to time, much of which is worked with here as Wetdryvac's Lair.

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